The problem
Dear Heart To Heart, I met a man online and we got along. For some time we were chatting and we were really having fun. He works out of the country but we met physically and had a lot of fun though it was short-lived since he had to go back to his place of work. We kept talking but soon it started to seem like I was forcing the conversations. If I didn’t text him, he also wouldn’t. I eventually became tired of always having to be the one to reach out. So I kept quiet for like a week. He called me and I told him things weren’t feeling right but he said I was overreacting. However, the situation never changed. I don’t know what happened after our meeting. I really miss him and I am confused whether to ask him or just leave. Or maybe he was disappointed we didn’t get to do much? I really need your advice to figure this out.
Ann

Your solutions

Patrick Pat Pato Ossendros: You should stop stalking him even if you liked him. You had fun and maybe that was all he needed. Even if you liked or loved him, does he feel the same way for you? Relax and move on. If a man wants you, nothing will stop him and if he doesn’t, nothing will keep him.

Olekanye Tsihdi: Accept that indeed he has changed like you said it. Stop pestering him. If he is yours he will come around. You don’t deserve to be hurt.

Elizabeth Erwin Rivendell: He is not the only man this world can offer. Stop getting worked up over someone who clearly does not care about you. What you had was called fun, he could even be married. If a man is interested in you, he takes it upon himself to be the best he can to you. He is not into you. He is not your man.

Jingo Dauglas Williams: You should give him space if you love him so that he can figure out whether he loves you too. Look for someone who can fix your heart but not that one who can hurt your feelings.

Modicum Okello: What is not meant to be yours will never be. You don’t need to keep pestering him to see the end result. It’s the bitter truth but fight hard and move on.

Daniel Dut A. Sometimes people who work outside the country have less time to make calls because they are too busy and partly because of different time zone. It’s also quite expensive sometimes. Just give him time, the man might not have changed.

Alaisa Kansime: Just quit, why should you be stressed? If you have a job, make it your first priority. If you do not still don’t stress yourself. Losing that man is not the end of your destiny.

Peterson Okafo Chine Cool: You should think about other things which can help you in your future other than a man. Bear in mind that we live a changing society where everything can change at any time. Forget him and go move on with your life.

Fredrick Richie: He got the fun like you have said and perhaps that’s what he wanted. You are precious than gold and your man will come.

Atuhurire Racheal: It is obvious something went wrong so don’t force the relationship because you deserve better than that. Love is about giving and receiving but not one sided.

Laster-Stoney Ogola: Pray to God to give you the confidence to ask him what went wrong. You never know he may be too principled and simply wants you to understand one another.

Counsellor says

Ali male, counselling psychologist, YWCA

Dear Ann, you seem to need love a reason you are at crossroads and cannot seem to find a way out. Many thoughts always come in when something you desire does not score or turn out to be what you expected.

However, you should know that many people have different ways of developing their romantic feelings.

Some because they lacked love from parents or relatives during their childhood, carry these burdens with them when they grow up and never know how to be romantic or express their feelings when in a relationship.

While to some, once they get into relationships and realise they now have you in their life, they tend not to be as caring as before because they think you are already aware that they care.

You need to figure out what could be happening from him because it is the only way you will get to the root of this. However, you should know that serious relationships begin with core issues such as planning for the future more than just chatting.

Accept his character since you cannot change him and try as much as possible to let him know when you are hurt so that he finds a solution he can adjust to on his own.

Compiled by Racheal Irene Nalubega