There is this fascination with the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. Somehow, something that is distant seems to hold a high appeal, than what is right there in front of you.
Not even the wise chap who coined “a bird in hand is better than two in the bush” could make us think better, because we are humans, because we are weak, but also because it gives us the chance to replace reality with fantasy and wishful thinking.
Truth is, you can never be really sure what that “boyfriend” who has been in “outside countries” for five years, studying, is really up to.
But, somehow, the girls seem to prefer that kind of man to a local (pun unintended), solid man who is on ground. They would rather wait for that other student man to come back, and sweep them off their feet... Need I also add that most of these things end up in frustration and disappoints? I just did.
Stella was not the kind you would expect to be like that.
Well, she came from an affluent background, had done some bit of travelling herself, and she had this man she said was her boyfriend, and he was out there somewhere studying, or on internship or something like that.
Nothing wrong with that picture seen from that angle. But on closer inspection, one found out that Stella’s friend had been away for the better part of seven years. His total time home in those seven years did not even total up to three months.
But, she said they were dating. Forgive me for being too cynical but that did not make sense to me. She was a really nice person and loads of men, including me, were dying to date her, and even marry her.
But she was holding out for this man. Sure, she has a right to choose who to date, but there was nothing realistic about her actions, and I made it very clear to her that I did not approve. Being a suitor myself, she must have taken it to be sour grapping, the mumblings of a jealous man.
A little of that, yes, but most of it was based on solid logic; what was this man up to in seven long years? Were there no females where he was? And the most compelling of all; in seven years a person changes way too much. What appealed to him/her might not do so after seven years. That is applicable when you can see the person.
But for Stella, apparently, nothing had changed because the man was not there to be examined closely! All he did was appear for two weeks, put on an act, and vanish off to his harem (ok, not harem, but I am sure he had a girl back there too). When I told this to Stella, being the nice person she is, she told me that until he tells her that himself, she was sticking by him. What I would not give for such loyalty in my woman!
Fast forward two years later; Stella is still waiting for her man. But, that man is not coming back, he has become too westernised. I gave up trying to get her for my own because I realised she will never stop waiting for that man to come back.
I would not want to be caught in the middle of something like that. So, I sometimes imagine that when I am super-loaded, I will take her to wherever that man is, and we shall spy on him, and catch him red-handed. Then, Stella will snap back to reality, and I will be there to give her a shoulder to cry on, and a hand to walk down the aisle... That would be nice, really nice.