Dear Heart to Heart, My woman and I started living together last year. At the beginning of this year, I proposed to take her to my brother-in-law’s place to do some farming and she accepted. My sister and her husband have two sons. One of them is in his 20s. A month ago during my visit, I noticed the older boy is making strange signals to my woman which she did not mind. I decided to go there unannounced at 11pm and found when she had prepared for my sister’s son to join her in her bedroom. It seems the two are sleeping together! How can I handle this situation?

Rukundo Kenneth. This is strange but possible. I suggest you stay with your woman; the farming can be done under a different arrangement. Go with her during cultivation time, if you are busy, leave her after you have helped her with some of the work and ensure she comes back to you after cultivation after all your sister can keep you updated on how the crops are doing.

Steve Jr Freeman. Very strange as nobody would allow even a 15-year-old to share bedrooms with a rather very distant relative like your wife as he may be tempted. Seriously why would you take your wife and leave her there, You should be ready for very bad news.

Penny Nassolo. It is just a suspicion. How did you know that she had prepared for him? Take back your wife to avoid conflict.

Ocakacon Geoffery Oc Jeff. Do not do anything to that boy. Call your wife’s parents and hand her back to them. Even the Bible supports this. I think if you love her let it go.

Ladu Simon. Even if he was your brother there is a possibility of something similar happening; remember men are not to be trusted so much.

Counsellor says

Make your concerns known to her in a loving way

Dear Peter, your situation is absurd but staying together is not enough security to own a woman. It is also tricky to involve a third person to help you solve this. You, therefore, need to settle this matter as just the two of you.

You should communicate your displeasure to her not by accusation but with concern. If you have had open communication, you need to ask if it is true. Let her explain to help you take away the suspicion. If she is someone who loves you and values your relationship, she will take your complaint serious and try to change.

If your relationship is long term, you need to preserve it. You must take her away from there in order to have peace of mind. Sometimes even if it is a job, you can give it up to have a safe relationship.
If you are serious about your relationship, you need to get security in terms of commitment. With marriage, it is hard for any of the partners to fool around because everyone knows this is someone’s wife or husband. Also, it makes the other partner safe and sure about the future and she will behave maturely.

Stephen Langa, Family Life Network