For all it matters, I have a special respect for women who stick it out for their children’s sake. You will argue and say that a woman is better off without a man, in cases where the man does not add value to her life.

And I will agree with you, but only so far. See, once upon a time, there were actual standards and actual reasons for a woman leaving her man. This happened when even not even the two families could resolve the couple’s differences and admitted that the two were surely better off apart.

And this only happened for real reasons, like an abusive husband, a drunkard who terrorised the entire family, such. And now, what we have for ‘real’ reasons fall along line such as the man not being able to buy a better car, or afford a big house, like the one her friends have. Or things like, the man never talks to her, they have nothing in common together.

Even here, I will agree with you; leave the man, but know that whenever you get what you want, you have to sacrifice something else, and only time can tell the extent of the sacrifice.

In this case, it is the chance for your children to grow up in a home with both parents. A child is meant to have both parents present; one parent is good but two are better.

One of my work mates, a man, has no idea how to deal with male authority. He seems to be at a loss whenever confronted by a male supervisor, or boss.

He fidgets, and ends up messing up the task because he says he does not know how to deal with ‘imposing male figures’. Which does not happen when the same instruction comes from a female boss, because he is quite comfortable in that regard?

He was raised by his mother, who was very strict and generally did a good job. Perhaps too good that the only true authority he recognises is embodied in a female form. His constant worry is how to raise his one year old son, saying he ‘has no idea about how a man is raised’.

I understand his worry, and would dismiss it, if only I didn’t see how everything he does has a leaning towards the female. He is a great guy, yes, and not to say that he would have turned out a better person if he had been raised by both parents, but there is a very good chance that he would have been more rounded.
My other workmate is a single mom, raising two boys.

When I go visiting, they ask me things that, even at their age, they realised their mother might not connect with. And she is very glad for these visits, encouraging me to come often because ‘it’s good for the boys’.

Between her, her sister, her auntie and the maid - a female-, ‘there are way too many females around the boys, I worry they are getting an overload of feminism. I fear they might be girly men, they won’t know how to behave like men...

Whatever she means, I suppose she refers to the lack of a male presence in the day to day lives of her boys. For her case, her man walked out on her.

-eugenemugisha@gmail.com