In Summary

That your car will develop numerous and unfixable problems. May you end up in the garage of the most dishonest mechanic in town, and may your car parts be continuously vandalised. May you spend all your time and money fixing that vehicle.

Dear Ignatius,
I remember your desperation when you came to me seeking my services. You knew my fee and promised to pay me. I trusted you, after all, hadn’t we worked together before? And then weeks passed, and months, in which I called you relentlessly, looking for my money. You have turned me into a nag. Ignatius, I’m tired. I’m what-i! I’m very tired!

Ignatius, I pass by your big office building every week and it pains my heart to see you wearing your smart suits and continuing with your life. Why, Ignatius? Why won’t you pay me?
Ignatius, perhaps this is my fault. Perhaps I should not have gotten into business with someone called Ignatius- a name that sounds like the top part of a metal pot. Perhaps I should not have given you the benefit of the doubt, good-hearted person that I am.

Ignatius, I hope that the money you owe me will make a comfortable bed for you when you get to the bowels of hell and rush into the everlasting embrace of your true father. Keep my money, and much good may it do you. These are my wishes for you, Ignatius.

That your nether regions will itch unbearably for no good reason at all. May the itch resist all forms of treatment. May it be accompanied by severe dandruff in the latter stages. May you find yourself unable to walk in public or wear anything beside a kanzu until you pay me my money.

That your car will develop numerous and unfixable problems. May you end up in the garage of the most dishonest mechanic in town, and may your car parts be continuously vandalised. May you spend all your time and money fixing that vehicle.

That you will strike a friendship with my other debtor, Selma, and be foolish enough to lend money to her. May you develop an ulcer chasing Selma for your money, and may it never be paid back. Then, and only then, will your suffering have matched mine.
My dear brethren, if you owe someone money, pay it back!