Do you remember that person you contemplated dating yet had all these red flags popping up and down in dramatic fashion?

But you hadn’t learned to heed to caution and decided to get into the relationship with them.
After a few months or a year down the road, you are thrown to the curb nursing a broken heart and probably with a bloody nose to show.

Then you run to your girlfriends with a bag full of tissue and cry your heart out while watching some chic movie and cursing men, calling them names conventionally apportioned to flurry beasts with a keen sense of the hunt.
Your life gets into slow motion mode as you try to heal a broken heart as you swear to all and sundry that you have had enough and all men are dead to you.

But two months down the road you meet some man in a nightclub.

You exchange numbers secretly since your girls know your oath. The same red flags are popping in your face but you throw caution to the wind.
One of your mottos is you only live once so why the heck not.

I listen to radio everyday on my morning commute and there is always somebody calling in with a relationship dilemma.

Things along the lines of, ‘he cheated on me with my best friend’, ‘she stole my ATM card and made a hefty withdrawal’, ‘my husband is not responsible and shuns taking care of our kids’, among others.
That makes any rational person wonder.

Are human beings so effective at hiding their true character that when their friends suddenly discover them they are left blindsided?
I think not. People tend to ignore basic signs that are a window into their prospective love interests.

They inwardly hope they are wrong about the person and that they will not disappoint them.

You saw it coming
How do you call into a radio show and ask for advice that your husband of five years is not responsible and shuns all financial obligations pertaining to the family?

If you back track to your history before the two of you got married, you will more often than not discover that this man displayed little signs that he wasn’t exactly the responsible type.
Did he always get a bad stomach and had to run to the restroom every time the bill came while you were on dates?

Did he conveniently never have money every time you needed something such as say a visit to the doctor?

Or maybe for the previous six years whenever it was your birthday, he got you a Shs20,000 box of chocolates for a present or something in that range.

This is despite you spending hundreds of thousands on him whenever his birthday came around.
If these are a summation of his spending tendencies and you had the nerve to drag him to the altar then you my friend should not be calling radio stations because of your deadbeat husband.

Plan B
No, you should be working extra hard, taking on side jobs, demanding promotions from your employer so you can support your family and yes, your husband too.

You should throw all coins that you remain with at the end of the day into a large tin in preparation for a hard financial day.

Using those coins on chewing gum is a luxury you cannot afford.

Save, save, save. You should also not share this dirty linen with your girlfriends since they told you that that man would lead you down a murky road.

But, oh no, you had talked to your mother and given her half truths about him and she had given you the go ahead while telling you that sometimes friends may not have your best interests at heart.

Choose wisely
It is very simple. God gave us sensory abilities to see things such as oncoming trucks, buses, ditches, animals with ferocious tendencies and no-good potential suitors.

If you have the sense to dodge a ditch but run into the arms of a love interest you know is not worth your time then make do with your choice later on.

mkawalya@ug.nationmedia.com