Relationships are a good thing. You have this person to count on that loves you, the one person that “gets” you, because is not that we are all looking for? Do whatever they possibly can to ensure you are happy and you will actually make an effort to do the same. They are all fun and games and cute little dates, and holding hands, until the lovey-dovey first three months of dating go by.

You suddenly discover new things about the person you are with that you were blissfully unaware of. Suddenly, the breathe is irritating, they complain about this and that. The Prince Charming might not be that charming after all.

I avoided relationships, I run away from them like they were some kind of Ebola/Marburg plague. I’d see friends posting pictures with captions of how deep in love they were. I would laugh at them and go read one more book that had a sad ending.

I would be even more validated in my contempt for relationships. I would smirk at the “cute” Instagram pictures and shake my head at the friends that came telling me about their relationship problems. I wondered what they expected to get out of their dealings with men.

There is a lot to learn from books. Basing on personal experience, I have learnt that this knowledge should be attained in small doses at the right time. I started reading novels when I was in Primary Three and by Primary Seven, I had learnt that men were here to break your heart, confuse your mind and break your spirit, and the most retarded thing, is what they were there for and you would willingly let them do it. Books basically “poisoned” me against men.

How vulnerable the women got in the books I read once they met a man worried me. You meet this stranger and suddenly you are willing to turn your life around to suit their needs, and you assume they will do the same? The way the women depended on the men for every little thing confused me.

Relationships scared me, and I proceeded to go through all the ones I got into halfheartedly. I only realised how unfair this was after I had a conversation with my ex recently, who was a douche but a great person (after the relationship) and he told me how cold I was. And that, is when I learnt that maybe, just maybe, men have feelings too.