In Summary
  • Dear Anonymous, There should be a reason your mother says that, but you also have to do more investigation about this. You can try asking elders who I am sure know more about your cultural history. After that you can make a decision.

Dear Heart to Heart, My boyfriend has proposed marriage. However, when I told my mother about him and where he comes from, she said I cannot marry him because any woman from my community who marries in theirs loses their life. Should I go ahead and marry him?
Anonymous

Phoebe Miriam. Never get married without your parents’ consent. It will be disastrous. Pray that your parents accept him and if they do not, dump him.

Karimunda Obed. Your mother should first give you clear examples of people or families this has happened to. Thing is, sometimes elders decide to make choices for their children and I hope this is not the case.

Mugisha Kiiza. You should handle these matters slowly. Talk to your mother further and know what she is trying to keep you from before making a decision.

Moses Earthe. What an elder sees while seated, a child cannot see even though they child climb on a hill. Listen to your mother, there must be a reason behind what she said.

Sophya Justine. You must listen to your mother. Whatever she tells you is right. That man can leave you for another woman but your mother will always be there for you. It is therefore better to look for another man.

Allano Hooks. Jesus died to take away all your problems but it seems you left Him on the cross. You have failed to redeem the freedom given to you and chosen tradition over revelation. Seek God first and all will become clear.

Sulima Yala. You jumped to media for help, you should have asked her to show you the families which lost their daughter(s) because of marrying from that tribe, and demand for proof. Maybe she was heartbroken by a man from that tribe and she putting her frustrations on you. All I know is that nobody has died because of marring someone from another community. Stay with him if you want. Ask somebody else from both your mother and father’s side then judge.

Vincent De Paul Obbo. Remember at one point you are going to die.
Go ahead and marry him and if God so wishes, He will decide your fate not man.

Maionzer Ambrose. Take a look at the statistics. Are there any samples that verify your mum’s allegations? If yes, then do not marry him. You will find another man.
Simon El Grande. The fact that you are asking your mother for permission means you are not ready. If you were ready, you would just inform her. She can have opinions but the ultimate decision is yours.

Alfred Avuni. Did she cite examples of those who married in that clan and died? Or is it just superstition? Your mom is from the old generation and a lot has changed.

Chris Mukooli. When Jesus says yes nobody can say no, not even your mother.

Kato Sam. My dear sister, do not go beyond your mother’s understanding. You will get a better man. Just give it time and pray.

Daniel Egau. You might be the lucky one so go ahead and marry him. The other thing you need to know is that there are fewer men compared to women so if you have found the one, do not let him go.
Adula Otengo. Death is inevitable, whether or not you marry him, you will still die anyway. And the only person who can determine that is God.

Paulan Rembi Kidman. Only God knows how and when you will die. Do not invest much in those false beliefs.

Babalanda Joseph. Risks are part of life and it depends on how much trust you have in your mum. Go ahead and experiment whether she is right or wrong.

Samali Hope. If you start a marriage without your mother’s blessing, it shall not. Besides, no mother can wish evil on their child.

Kindeku Jozeph. Do not marry that man. Unless you want to prove there is life after death. Many have advised you to go ahead and marry the man but it is you to die. We live once, and that is all. Run for your life.

Nathan Mbekeize. Please first go to church for deliverance and rebuke that spirit of death.

Bonnie Ogwang
Ask elders

Dear Anonymous, There should be a reason your mother says that, but you also have to do more investigation about this. You can try asking elders who I am sure know more about your cultural history. After that you can make a decision. However, no one is important except mothers so whenever they tell you something you need to listen. Think about her words carefully and consult other elders for more advice.