In Summary
  • The other day we did a Mwenda-like poll by asking three respondents in Kampala called Jacobs, Odongo and Seaman if they approved of the insane culture of polluting the city with loud sounds, and all the three said they would give up their milk teeth to pay for the ban of the same.

Dear Jenny Musisi, whenever Rwanda does something insignificant and Rwandans do propaganda justice to it so much so that everyone thinks it is the best thing that has happened since the birth of Jacobs Odongo, I am tempted to believe Ugandans.
The other day I almost choked on envy when these south-western neighbours pulled off another of their things so I told a Rwandan friend that his people spit faster than a water fountain.

No offence
The guy didn’t take offence. He smiled and told me to crosscheck with the presidency if my name was on the RDC appointments list. Confused, I asked “how?” His response: “Everything is so confused in your country that you just never know. In any case, if your name is not there, just pick one name on the list and declare you are the subject.”
The Rwandan guy explained that I would take the person of whomever and arrive at a particular district as the new RDC. For good measure, he said, I should borrow a TX or double cabin pickup and arrive with some fake bodyguards and I will be RDC for as long as Museveni continues appointing dead men and his critics unknowingly.

I didn’t think it made sense, but when Museveni withdrew the appointments and then Ofwono Opondo and others were sucked into the whole thing, I saw why the Rwandan fellow was right. Then I asked if that was how ministers in Rwanda end up in office by just declaring themselves one. “There is sanity here, my friend,” the fellow said with a chortle that betrayed the mockery in his voice.

So what is insane about Kampala, I asked myself as I exited an internet café in Kireka only to be welcomed by eardrum splitting sound from a truck loaded with sound speakers and generators. The guys were marketing a music concert by some obscure semblance of an artiste. Insane.
Just how long will Ms Musisi and her KCCA take to see the need to ban these charlatans? Do we have to wait until their activity has threatened the life presidency project before we can see that a modern city has no place for such insane din?

These people don’t even pay taxes and the only people who appear to benefit from their activity are the guys hiring the music systems, the owners of the trucks that are hired and the fuel station that sells them gas for the car and generator.
Is this our government’s idea of creating more jobs for the youth by allowing one or two chaps to perch up the trucks to rant in the name of speaking about the products they are marketing?

Blame Gen Kale
For a while, we blamed these things on Gen Kale Kayihura but the man has been eating more weevil infested beans at Makindye than we did in high school, so why is Jenny pretending she doesn’t see the public nuisance in such things?
At a time like this when social media tax is coming in to stress us, we don’t need more stress from non-taxable goons in the city. As it is, we have already endured enough nuisance from another bunch of non-taxable Pentecostal churches.

Jenny should ban these things immediately. Even ban pasting of posters in the city and all such concert organisers should use available media and social media. In fact, now that social media tax is coming in, compelling these guys to use social media is like asking them to pay taxes and that basically translates into URA’s happiness.

The other day we did a Mwenda-like poll by asking three respondents in Kampala called Jacobs, Odongo and Seaman if they approved of the insane culture of polluting the city with loud sounds, and all the three said they would give up their milk teeth to pay for the ban of the same.
From the three respondents, it was agreed that 100 per cent of city dwellers prefer KCCA reins in these louts.
Oh, let me plug my phone on the small pin charger to keep the battery warm as we await Jenny’s call and payment for this free consultancy service.

editorial@ug.nationmedia.com