All this would not be happening if my future husband would grow up faster so that my children can also grow, my husband would get out of trouble, I would divorce him and marry the love of my life who would become president and close all those hotels where children are taken for safekeeping
This week I learnt that my future husband is still a toddler in preschool and that I might actually have to join the teaching profession and most preferably teach drama because that might be the only way I might meet my now toddler spouse-to-be.
While I wait for him to grow, I will find me a grown man, register for a mass wedding and after our vows are said in a chorus with a million other couples, the clergy will say you may now kiss the bride and the world will watch as we harvest each other’s oesophagi with our newly married tongues.
While I’m still waiting for my toddler future husband to grow, I will have children with my adult husband. And because we are so busy waiting for the toddler to grow, the adult husband might even end up among a group of suspects paraded for allegedly committing crimes against Uganda.
During the arrest, our children, because they love their father will throw themselves at the keepers of society and beg to be arrested too. They will plead to be kidnapped and taken to suffer the same fate as their father. The keepers will try to reason with them in vain. So out of the kindness of their hearts, they will take the children to a hotel for safe keeping and pretend not to know of their whereabouts .
After weeks of pretending not to know where they are, the keepers will again, out of the goodness of their hearts confess to in fact holding the children at a seven star hotel.
All this would not be happening if my future husband would grow up faster so that my children can also grow, my husband would get out of trouble, I would divorce him and marry the love of my life who would become president and close all those hotels where children are taken for safekeeping.
In the meantime though, I can only dream of my blissful future and struggle to survive the present.