Dear Heart to Heart, My girlfriend does not answer whenever I tell her I love her, especially during phone calls. Instead she says ‘thank you’. Also if I do not call or text her, she never bothers to do it. I have asked her to improve on her communication but nothing has changed. What can I do? Does she really love me?
Kirsten Bayne. It is a turnoff for someone to tell you they love you over and over again too early in the relationship. It may repulse the girl. Most such relationships do not develop further because instead of the man trying to build a relationship with you by trying to get to actually know you, he is just throwing out I love you like it is water.
Ulrike Klank. Do not give up improving what you are meant to improve! I am happy, there is a response from her in as far as thanking you is indeed concerned! I know you are not certain whether the thank you is positive or negative! Keep improving until you excel!
Wilfred Oloo. It is very clear and open that you are deeply in love with her and yet she does not love you back. Nobody is too busy to answer your call and texts. Do not lose your self-respect because of her. Do not call or text her again, if she really loves you the way you love her, then she will make an effort to make the relationship work. And if she does not, be patient, you will find someone else who adores you.
Ntwatwa Daniel. There’s something so spontaneous in love that makes it talk and defend itself in a way that where it exists you must feel it and vice versa. It happens to both sides because it is mutual. According to your story, she does not love you therefor look elsewhere.
Bonnie Ogwang. You should have told us how long this relationship has lasted. Anyway, sit your girlfriend down and have a talk. Let her know how much love you feel for her. Do not complain about her not calling or texting you just let her know that you feel bad if you do not see a call from her for the whole day and see how she will respond. There you will get to know whether she loves you or not.
Evah Strong Abongs. How much have you done to make that relationship work? I love you does not work alone because even one who wants you for a quickie will say it. Take it to another level.
Ali Male, counselling psychologist YWCA
Give her time
Dear Necker, unusual behaviour provides shocking and disturbing feelings especially when they come from a love angle. However, a disease is interpreted from its symptoms. You might be in relationship that runs in one direction and is not being reciprocated.
Contempt is something that you need to listen to with your eyes because observed cues contribute to 40 per cent compared to verbal communication which is only 10 per cent while you build your relationship.
When you meet physically, even when she does not say anything, you might have to observe again as the answer might be contempt or personal growth issues.
You do not tell us how long you have been together but was this the trend even when you had just started dating? If so, focus on the reason you fell in love with her but also try to help her improve communication because it is very important.
If you truly love her you would give her time to grow and think about how best to make a good communication.
Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka