I t is always the girl that wants to get married. Of course there a few exceptions to this, but that is what they are; exceptions. The generally accepted notion is that the girls that want to get married, while the men try to stay unmarried for as long as they can. Yes, the men want to settle down too, eventually, but the fire burns much more fiercely, and much earlier in girls. And to this school of thought I was no stranger. Not even having girls who talked about other things besides getting married would change my life-long stereotype, no sir. Not even having sisters who showed only mild interest in the whole shebang. A life time of conditioning had taught me that girls grow up with a singular purpose; to get married. Then I met her. She was a girlfriend to one of my old friends, and he had one problem with her; she had flatly refused to get married. Not that she was leaving him, no. She was simply not getting married to him or to anyone else. And he was out of his wits with confusion because that did not make any sense to him.
What kind of girl was she? At least if she had refused to marry him because she wanted to leave him and marry someone else, which would be understandable. But here was a girl, A GIRL people, refusing to get married, yet she claimed she loved him.
Stereotyping aside, I was pleasantly surprised when he told me about his ‘sad state of affairs’.
I listened carefully, trying to figure out his greatest cause for alarm, until I realised that he had some insecurity issues; the girl was beautiful, very beautiful yes and naturally, he was scared to death that she might leave him for someone else. So, like most generic breeds of men that lack imagination, the easiest solution was to lock her down by marrying her. She loved him, she had never showed any signs of unfaithfulness, and was not the kind to jump from man to man. They were even kind of co-habiting. But she was not marrying him, her interest in the whole topic bordered on boredom.
So, his one question was; where does she see this ending? Does she not want the security that comes with being married, the status, and ‘family feeling’? And what about our children, when we get some eventually? She is not against the idea of us having children, what I do not understand is why she does not want to get married. And yet I want to marry her, I’m ready to marry her even right now if she only said yes. Apparently, he had proposed to her with their close friends present. And there and then, she had told him she loved him, but it did not mean anything to her to marry him. She had explained that she did not see any sense in the drama involved in getting married, making promises about things that they had little control over, what they had was okay, right?
They had each other, and they loved each other, right? so why did they have to go and spoil everything by complicating it with unnecessary formalities?