Relationships are funny. At times, people will not want to talk to you because they saw a folder on your laptop titled ‘My Documents’ and they will wonder why you are so selfish that you did not include them in the naming for it to be ‘Our Documents.’

Of course boy child does not roll with girls that get confused about such trivial things. In fact, this boy child does not confuse any woman, instead, they get him confused.

One day she will make an abstract statement and poor guy will think about it for days. Just imagine the day you call her and out of nowhere, she says ‘we need to talk’, even the mood will change. You will imagine the possible reasons that have made her want to communicate while using those particular lines.

I have been groomed to believe that ‘we need to talk’ is a line girls use when things are going south. Once used and she does not dump your sorry self, you have all the rights to sue her for irresponsibly raising a false alarm.

We need to talk is a sledge hammer, it is the break up before you get it face-to-face. By the time you meet her, at least you are aware she has thrown you into splitsville.

We need to talk is the equivalent of ‘It is not you, It is me’ that is common with guys.It has been said to be the worst break up excuse, yet in defence of the men that use the line, they are brave, and it is a sign that they have been unhappy even when the person had little to do with it.

Girls that have had to listen to these words will hate you like you have killed their pet but will forget that it hurts equally. Besides those number of lines and talks that get both guys and girls shifting the wrong way, nothing gets guys as confused as her initiating the ‘what are we to talk’.

This is the kind of talk that comes out of a complicated relationship, probably you landed yourself in the happy friendzone and suddenly she wants to know the type of relationship. Since single guys barely have a clue of what they are having, ‘what are we’ is always some question.

You will indeed search your mind and realise that much as you kissed, hugged and probably did it. (you know what), you are just comrades, and you cannot tell her ‘we are just friends’.

I remember a friend that hustled with this question, for almost a week. He stopped receiving her calls, poor guy was not so sure about the nature of the relationship and did not want to commit at the time. He would later tell her they were explorers in all things relationships. He was dumped days later.

A tough one told a pastor’s daughter they were brethren, she had invited him for prayers a number of times and had made him join the church choir, that when she asked him, he found the answer bankable. His answer hurt her so much that later even when he stopped going to her church, she followed him to the new church only to end up walking down the aisle with one of the church choir members and his colleague. Imagine what he went through.