- age gaps: When it comes to dating, there are a few written dos and don’ts. People fall in love regardless of tribe, language, size, height, beliefs etc. It’s a feeling that one cannot resist.
- Love always finds its way .But is love all that matters? Would age have any impact on a relationship? Do you mind dating a man with a huge age difference? Marsha Ziporah Atuhire shares insights.
“I met Vincent and we exchanged contacts. Both of us had a lot in common. We laughed, joked, went on several dates, and attended church together as well as shared Bible verses with each other daily. It was clear we were head over heels in love with each other and I couldn’t hold my excitement. It later dawned on me that I was dating a man 15 years younger than me,” Angella Kirabo narrates.
He was 25 years and she was 39. Kirabo says her curiosity lead her to documents in Vincent’s wallet which confirmed she had been dating an younger man all this while. She admits there are so many challenges in dating a younger man, especially when society judges them. Angella chose to move on. She says it is normal and she is happy.
Umuhire Precious, a law student at Islamic University in Uganda insists that age is just a number adding that this is a stereotype that society hypes for no good reason.
Kalama, a businessman in Kikubo, Kampala says, if it is love, then one should go for it. “I don’t mind whether she’s older or younger. It’s not written anywhere for a man to be older”.
Joan Nakyanzi says she has been married to someone younger than her for two years now and age has not affected their relationship in anyway.
William Nyanzi, 24, disagrees. He confesses that he cannot date a woman who is older than him unless it’s about property and business.
Dr Grace Nsimbwa, a psychologist from My Life Clinic in Kampala, says dating a younger or older mate is something one needs to think carefully about but it should not be such a big deal in a relationship as long as both are happy.
She, however, warns that couples with a 20 -year age gap are 95 per cent susceptible to divorce. She highlights social stigma, difficulty in socialising with partner’s friends and family, financial discrepancies as some of the challenges one should anticipate. Nsimbwa says couples with reasonable age gaps benefit from mentorship, stability and experience, among other things.
While you can date an older person, psychologists warn that a huge age-gap of about 20 years and above is not healthy and most times makes the relationship vulnerable to divorce.
Social stigma, difficulty in socialising with partner’s friends and family, financial discrepancies are some of the challenges one should expect.