Dear Heart to Heart, I met a man in 2010 and we started dating. After four years, I introduced him to my family. However, he started behaving in a weird way shortly after; dodging my calls and acting as though he nolonger wanted to be seen in public with me. One Friday he asked me out on a date but he was uneasy the whole time. The following day as I read my WhatsApp messages I realised he had changed his profile picture to one at his wedding. I was so heartbroken and decided to block him from my life. Recently, I bumped into him and he says he wants to rekindle our relationship. Truth is, I have also moved on but feel like I need closure.
Dear Heart to Heart, I met a man in 2010 and we started dating. After four years, I introduced him to my family. However, he started behaving in a weird way shortly after; dodging my calls and acting as though he nolonger wanted to be seen in public with me. One Friday he asked me out on a date but he was uneasy the whole time. The following day as I read my WhatsApp messages I realised he had changed his profile picture to one at his wedding. I was so heartbroken and decided to block him from my life. Recently, I bumped into him and he says he wants to rekindle our relationship. Truth is, I have also moved on but feel like I need closure. What should I do? Anonymous
Bonnie Ogwang. If you say you have moved on, I see no reason why you should look back. It is obvious the man is married and even if you rekindled the relationship, what will be your position? Wake up and face reality. Someone out there is waiting to take your hand and you will learn to love again.
Phoebe Miriam. How do you rekindle a relationship with someone who is already married? What kind of closure are you looking for with a married man? If you have really moved on, do not waste any more time. The man is not taking you any further than his bed. Find your own man and get married.
Nabukeera Michelle Muwonge. Closure is important, especially for you but right now, what you are feeling is anger that is disguised as you needing closure. You should instead learn to forgive that man. You are allowed to be angry, but the longer you stay angry, the longer you will hold on and the longer you will feel like you need closure. I know because I have gone through the same.
Mulungi Daniels Hanks. The one wrong thing you did was to think that he was ready for marriage with you. However, it is good not to think for someone that is ready to move in with you, you would have waited for him to ask to see your parents other than choosing it your way.
Jeff Aliti. The main reason he suggested to “revise his old notes”, is that it took you four solid years to realise what was going on. That means this time if he played his cards well, it may take you forever to realise foul play this time around. I would also believe that you seemingly had another parallel date alongside him, that is why it took all that long even to suspect his involvement with someone else. Do not look back, hope for the best.
Love Lee Abwooli. You can never rekindle a relationship with someone who is already married. That man will just waste your time and break your heart always so my dear better look for your own man and get married. That way, you will find peace and joy.
Keppa Oscar. You went through the same situation like me some time back. I know you still love him but never give chance to fools, he is likely to disappoint you again. God has reviewed for you the kind of man he is, so just forget him and pray for your partner. In order to move on, you should also forgive totally.
Aisha Lichie. Go back, let him give his apology then you move on.
Jonnah Tusasirwe. Let him suffer with the wife he has. Do you even know the reason he married her? It must be an ugly story that he can never share.
Nyaki Macklean. Never go back to the past because there lies a lot of heartache. Move on and live your life the way you have been doing.
Molyne Kyosiimire. Live your life. If you think he did you wrong, he is yet to do the worst the moment you give him a chance.
Ddumba Hakim. Learn from your past to make your future better. In other words, concentrate on your current relationship and try make it better than your previous one.
Nyakojo Donavan Alecs. Four years of dating? He probably found out you are not wife material but someone he can just play around with. Move on and find that person that will accept and love you as you are.
Wonder Samuel. Four years was a long time to wait. A metal is bent when it is still hot but if you wait for it to cool down, it cannot bend anymore.
Halima Nanteza. Please do not bother going back to this man because you will be hurt again. The good thing is that your heart healed. I would advise you not to be in touch with him anymore because this will force you to meet him.
Akandwanaho K Wilson. There must be a range of reasons why he married someone else. Learn that you are not his type and move on.
Tebajjukira Erisa. So you totally learnt nothing from the pain that you went through? My dear, no matter how long you tame a lion, it will still remain a wild animal. Just prepare yourself for the worst if you give him a second chance.
Juliet Nsokwa. It is easy to blame the man but you should also take some responsibility. You must have seen warning signs that this was a failed relationship and you still chose to stick around. Good thing you have a second chance to make things right.
Jonathan Okiru, a counsellor at Family life network
Let him go
Dear Anonymous, all the descriptions of your relationship with this man are indicators that you were chasing air. There is no connection between you and him. The foundation of any relationship counts a lot. If it was built on lies, it may be hard to change. If he behaved that way even after you had introduced him to your family, how sure are you that he will change?
Unless you are sure you want to be a second wife, you should let him go. Four years could be long enough for you to understand someone but some people are very crafty and he could have dated you because he noticed your weakness. You may not even have known who he truly was so it was a wrong relationship for you.
It is very good that you moved on. It is better to have a failed relationship than a broken marriage. You should not be changed by his looks or even the money. Stick to your decision and go on with your life.