In Summary

It is often the case that our relationships are low on our priority list and during the Christmas season. So how do you keep your partner a priority when it makes sense to divide and conquer the many events, hosting and financial obligations?

This season is an exciting period in many people’s love lives, but did you know that some couples break up during this season as well? Well, some couples get overwhelmed by other activities during this time and forget about their loved ones. Others give divided attention because of the so many activities taking place and this sometimes upsets their beloved. Have you already drawn a program for the festive season?
Is your relationship a priority on the list of things that you have to do during this Christmas season? Or it is not mentioned anywhere?
According to Ali Male, a counsellor at YMCA, during the festive season, there are so many breakups in relationships. According to him, this is mainly because some partners tend to be taken up by other events and give less attention to those that matter to them. He also notes that during this time, people in relationships tend to expect a lot and sometimes get disappointed, but he says this can get sorted if partners plan in advance.
“This festive season, do not get taken up by events. Make sure you involve your loved one in all the activities so that they do not feel left out,” he advises.

Discuss the budget
Male says one of the reasons couples get into disagreements with their loved ones during the festive season is because of not having financial plans together.
“Do not draw a budget that your partner is not comfortable with. Involve them while making the budget so that you can have one that is within your means,” he says.
He says if your partner wants to have one spectacular Christmas season which you are not comfortable with; you can adjust it and come up with something that the two of you can work with.

Be deliberate
“There will always be an opportunity to attend one more holiday party, purchase one more gift, create one more dessert or add one more decoration to the house, but is your partner comfortable with this? ,” asks Margaret Tumusiime, a counsellor with Girl Talk Uganda. Tumusiime says it is important that all the choices you make should be approved by your partner. She also observes that failure to make choices that your partner is comfortable with will lead to arguments and a not so merry festive season.

Put aside time
Male says although the festive season is filled with activities, it is advisable that the two of you spare some alone time for your selves.
“Put away the cell phone and if possible go for a walk or a drive with your loved one. Making your partner a priority means that for a small period of time, each day, you give them access to your current thoughts and feelings. This is important because despite the various activities, you will still know what is going on in your partner’s life,” he advises.

Discuss activities
Tumusiime says though drawing plans is usually a woman’s role, it is necessary to involve your partner so that you choose an activity that they will also be willing to take part in. “If for instance your husband does not want to attend Christmas Carols, find out what he loves to do with family and incorporate it,” she says adding that you can also discuss how to enjoy a social event with your partner such that when you all go, he does not look bored.

In a group, concentrate on them
Ali Male, a counsellor at YMCA, says some people forget to care for their loved ones while at events which make the other feel neglected.
“If you take your wife to a family gathering during the festive season, do not leave them all by themselves, especially if they are not so familiar with your relatives,” he says.
Male says during such moments it is important to keep your partner company. He adds that you can also introduce them to your friends and family so that they feel comfortable and accepted.