In Summary
  • Do not approach him because what you feel for him is not real love but rather infatuation.
  • You need to come back to the real world, appreciate the fact that having a crush is normal and move on.

Dear Heart to Heart,
Dear Heart2Heart, I am 23 years old and I like a man who studies in my college. I have a crush on him but the problem is, it has been a month and he has not asked me out. I am afraid of being upfront and asking him to come on a date with me. What if he says no and friend zones me? How should I approach this situation? Shall I wait for him to make a move or should I take charge of this situation? Anonymous

David Mukasa. I would suggest you take some time and instead ask him if he has spoken about you to his friends. Do you both speak on the phone? If not, you can initiate that and see if he is hesitant about it. If he is hesitant, then try to know the reason behind it. Does he answer your call with his friends around? What does he tell them? Ask him
indirect questions on what his hints mean? Does he behave like this with other female friends too? Assess what these hints mean to him. The next best step would be to plan a coffee meeting along with a few friends. For instance, you can tell him you are meeting your friends for coffee and he can come there with his friends as well.

Fred Daniels. Can I tell you something my sister, you are passing through what we pass through and you are asking yourself the same questions we ask ourselves before approaching a woman. Here is what you can do, tell him that you like him, show him that you are a good woman and that will give him a reason to say something too. However, do not just sit and do nothing about it.

Moses Patrick Ojilong Salongo. This kind of mentality handed me a wedding invitation to my crush’s wedding while I was still thinking of how to disclose my intentions. On her wedding day, one of her friends told me that the bride waited for so long for me to let the cat of the bag but I did not and guess what? I am still single. So, unless you tell
him how you feel, he will introduce to you someone he has just met as his girlfriend.

Aaron Yovani. This is very normal. Do not make the mistake of making the first move. But all you can do is to start acting towards that direction. Call to check on him, be extra nice, pay him surprise visits so that you build a stronger relationship with him.Alex Agaba. I thought you were a dot com woman but it seems you are still in analog. Please, use any social media platform and let him know, he may be a shy having the same but fearing to tell you.

Ssali Elvis. Be classy enough to let someone approach you as a woman otherwise you will loose all his respect.

Kategaya Charles. Normally it is the fisherman to hook the fish but not the fish to look for the fisherman. Wait for the fisherman to bring his hook.

Phoebe Miriam. Never ask a man out. Men tend to love the chase but the moment you approach him he will take you as desperate woman and friend zone you. It is possible he is not attracted to you. Look elsewhere.

Ophir Bryan. They say “as you wait for the mango to ripe, others are busy eating it with salt. So, do not wait for him to take the first step. Speak your heart and tell him how you feel about him.

Karakire David. That is quite a fix you are in I must admit. As a first step ask him out. While on the date (that is if he agrees to it) let him know that you like him. My guess is if he likes you too, he will take his cue from there. And once he does you need to stop any form of chasing him and let him do the chasing. If you chase him too much, he might interpret that as you being desperate and nothing scares a man away faster than that. In short, let him think he is doing the chasing. Good luck catching your whale. And try to have fun while at it. 2019 is your year.

Bwambale Obedi Nzirambi. It is the 21st century, anyone can approach the other. However guard against giving him an opportunity to get you into bed and making you a mother instead of a wife.

Stephen Rex Olukor. Leave him alone. Your infatuation is likely to fade off soon and leave this poor man hanging on love’s cross. It is painful to fall for women who are in love with love.

Jambala Rudi. Well, you must draw a line between a crush which is equal to lust and love that comes naturally. The best advice I can give you is getting to know him before it is too late. It is a competition and be prepared for the unexpected. Good luck.

Jane Nsokwa. Having a crush is normal and expected from someone your age. However, where do you see yourself in five years in terms of a relationshiop with this man. Sometimes you will expose your feelings and get neglected or accepted and used and dumped. Weigh your options before making a decision.

Counsellor’s say> Jonathan Okiru, counsellor at Family life network

Leave him to approach you

Dear Anonymous, a crush in the context of love or a relationship is mythical. What you see from a distance is not what you find when you draw close and that is why whenever a crush is followed, one will always get disappointed.
It is always a matter of time, the feeling will go away. You should understand that crushes are normal and overcoming them is a skill you must have learnt during your teenage life.
Do not approach him because what you feel for him is not real love but rather infatuation. You need to come back to the real world, appreciate the fact that having a crush is normal and move on. He does not feel the same way about you. Take note also that asking a man out on a date as a lady or making the first approach to a
man may sound trendy but does not lay the best foundation for a relationship. Men are naturally created with the ability to hunt while women have the attributes of being hunted. Changing this trend may make your relationship unstable. Be patient while you wait for the right person who feels the same way you; he surely is there.