In Summary
  • Rendition. Empty tins make a lot of noise which will very often make you laugh. Visit this page every Sunday to encounter Empty Tin and his warped ideas.

One of the hallmarks of 1986 has been the proliferation of Pentecostal churches. They were called bibanda not long ago. Many of them were hastily put up with papyrus and mabati, decorated with powerful speakers and turned into more noise-making places than generators in Juba, South Sudan.

But after 33 years, these churches appear to have failed in some of their duties. From the way pastors behave, you can conclude theirs is a mandate to indoctrinate the masses to cheer for 1986 and believe nothing but Gad and the Leo. And that is fine. Citizens are not complaining.

However, recently, the government has decided that it will put in place a law that sees to compulsory drug test for anyone vying to be a leader. Imagine such a big joke being told by national leaders… wait, it isn’t even a joke to begin with—the very people who sat and decided on this were probably high.

If this law was passed and enforced, who will lead this country? Even the Leo himself was the other day accused of being high on some concoction called power, so what goes? The other day we all saw MPs being given millions for consultations on age limit – against our will. After they consulted, they went on the floor of Parliament and said the exact opposite of what their constituents wanted.

Like my MP who didn’t even stammer. He said with such confidence that we had decided to scrap it. Days later he was being stoned by the people and needs armed guards to visit them. Now, if we regulate drugs among leaders, how will the MPs sell their constituents to the Leo on the cheap?

There was this one whose name can be written as Any War. She actually said yes twice on prompting. She didn’t blink. She was more confident than a hangover tormenting a first timer in booze.

But days later, as the ‘heights’ left her system, she claimed that she was being misquoted.
If there is anyone in the country who still can deny that the majority of our leaders are a bunch of gobbledygook, then they need deliverance from drugs.

Now, some of you think I am also on drugs, that it’s the drugs making me use words like gobbledygook, whose meaning alone requires being high on drugs to get off the head. Not true. The word sounds like something drugged and, therefore, is befitting for the current scenario.

The country is drugged. John Ruganda called it the “opium of the bourgeoisie” is his play, The Burdens. And the government is also showing signs of it now. How else can you explain a system turning around to regulate the very concoction that is keeping it in power? If we proceed and test these people, how will police go around stopping Besigye and his buddies from doing as they wish? Is government really convinced that police are not on drugs?

The other day one of them did something so sickening to Besigye at Mulago roundabout. Years later, stories of him seeking rehabilitation in Butabika surfaced.
Do you know where drugs impounded from smugglers end up? Word is some have been found with police. Don’t ask what they were doing with the drugs.

Dear Leo, the very people in your government who suggested this whole drug thing are challenging the decision of God that sent you to rule over Uganda until He recalls you. You can’t let this pass. Get the people behind this nefarious suggestion sorted.

We need the country drugged up to keep them sucking at their thumbs and worrying about nothing for the prophecy of life presidency to come to pass.